Sarah-cicle

OK.....So Dad gets the bright idea to try tubing again. This time Sarah, her stepbrother Sam, "friend of Sam" (not to be confused with Son Of Sam) John and I head up to Hawksnest.

It was the opposite of the first trip.

All was well on the trip up. John quizzed me on my musical tastes as I tortured him with my satellite radio choices. Sarah only said "How much further" about 10 times (a drastic improvement from the first trip "up the hill"). We arrived about noon.

It was downhill from here...(PLEASE...Pun Police forgive that one.) The place was goofy packed. We opened the car doors to 30 mph winds and a wind chill of around....5.....FREAKIN' FIVE!!! What the hell was I thinking? We bundled up for the walk along the icy road to the ticket booth. I carried Sarah for fear she was going to fall in the path of one of the on coming SUVs. (Do they let you come there without an SUV?)

Got to the ticket booth without busting my ass. (Did I mention the ridiculous ass numbing cold wind?? Did I ask what the hell was I thinking??....oh yeah...I did.) Long line of other frozen ass-cicles to buy tickets but.....the 1PM AND THE 3PM WERE SOLD OUT!!!!

So now what the hell do I do?....I have 3 kids....all ready for a winter wonderland of fun and the next available time where fun was going to be permitted was a mere 4 1/2 hours away.

OK....I'm somewhat of a stubborn person. The mere 5 degree windchill and the "No Fun Allowed Until 5PM" sign was not going to make me look like an idiot in front of these three kids. I was starting to have visions of Clark Grizwold in National Lampoon's Vacation. I was ready to punch the moose!

On to Sugar Mountain...they have tubing....and it's probably warm and they probably have no lines....and they probably give the Dad's cold beers while waiting......

YEAH....right! We spent the next hour driving around just looking for a place to park at Sugar. We stopped and got GAS STATION PIZZA...and Sarah used the bathroom at a place that made me cringe. (OK...the options were limited....Sarah's Mom please forgive me.)

We did widdle our wait time down to a mere 3 hours by driving around aimlessly. I decided (in true Clark Grizwold fashion) that BY GOD WE WERE GOING TUBING AND WE WERE GONNA HAVE FUN!!!!! The 5PM session would be great!!

So...back up to Hawksnest we went to kill 3 hours with a 4 year old by my side. We went in the lodge....we went in the ski shop (that's probably supposed to be spelled "shoppe" since their stuff was so ridiculously overpriced) we went outside....we went upstairs....etc.

We repeated this process 172 times until it was finally close to 5PM. In the meantime, Sam and John were happily throwing chunks of ice at each other, outside, oblivious to the temperature (did I mention the wind chill?).

We went out, got our tube and stood in line for a few minutes. The fun was about to commence to happen here!! We were looking at 2 hours of "Daddy-Daughter-Ear-to-Ear-Grin-Fun"!

Except....for some reason as the sun went DOWN the temperature didn't GO UP. In fact...it got really cold. Silly cold. "Ass- numbing-sell-your-right-arm-for-a-little-warmth type cold".

And so...we went down the tube run once. And on the way back up on the moving sidewalk it became obvious that my sweet little girl was not experiencing the fun I had envisioned. In fact...she was in pain.

By the time I got her in front of the fireplace she was crying uncontrollably. The good people of the NC Ski Patrol (all volunteers and all genuinely nice people) brought her in and put hot water bottles on her hands and feet. After a half hour or so she was back to normal temperature.

We spent the rest of the session sitting in front of the fireplace. Sarah wanted no part of being frozen any more.

Her brother and his buddy tubed the full 2 hours...and then continued on a side hill...apparently oblivious to the fact that it was brass monkey cold and time to go.

Once I got them in the car we made a run for the border. Taco Bell never tasted so good. A short time later my troop of "fun seekers" was southbound and sound asleep. Dad was just glad to no longer be freezing his ass off.....and glad to know a beer was a mere two hours away,